i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
