i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
