I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
