You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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