Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
