You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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