The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
