Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
