Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
