Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
