I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
