My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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