Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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