i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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