I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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