Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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