Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
