we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
