Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
