Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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