I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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