obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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