im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
