I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
