just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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