need another drink. this is the easiest way
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
