have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I bet he comes in French.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
What a dumb baby whore.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
