Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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