so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
My ass is underappreciated
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
