dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
