He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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