I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
