call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
