how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
You know, be my cock's hype man.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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