Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
