i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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