Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
