I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
