oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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