i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
