stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Randomize
