So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
