meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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