I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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