I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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