Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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