She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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