When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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