I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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