I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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