so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
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