And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
